vaguely merge Chisai fork

main
Anish Lakhwara 2021-12-01 00:24:51 +10:00
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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today i am grateful for being able to sleep in and have time to myself
i am grateful for the conversation i had with sarayu, it was a lot of fun
i am grateful that i was able to help parul for her homework, and could explain things to her. it was a good experience.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}I'm grateful for being Rey in the gym. he seems pretty cool. i had a nice talk with him

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm grateful for my conversation with Tanu. it seems like she's slightly less cold, which is nice. even though our conversation today wasn't about anything in particular, it was the way we talked that made me feel happy.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today I am once again grateful for meeting ray. I think i feel strongly abkut people who seem so similar to me but slightly different. i dont know how i feel about him, it's exciting

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}my earphones arrived today according to FedEx. I'm so grateful they're here, though i still have to pick them up. i ran to the bus stop to catch the bus and made it. hopefully I'll be in time to pick them up. i really really hope so.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}I'm grateful for hanging out with Jeremy and Henry and cammy. it was a lot of fun hanging out with my friends. i had a great time.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I am grateful for hanging out with the Artifex crew. Even though it was mostly business I enjoy hanging out together. Feels like we're good friends.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm grateful I went to the Canberra show. The little piglet race and the ride and all the adorable animals we saw, it was pretty awesome.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today I'm grateful for the weather. i woke up to the rain and it was just beautiful. I'm also grateful for the downtime I have listening to Jack Johnson while it's raining and overcast.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today i was in ny back yard just vaping, when this ilder woman and her dog walk by and they both yawn at the exact same time. I thought that was kinda funny. your dog really does become you.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm really grateful for being able to go to Enlighten with some friends and some people i hadnt met before. i had a great time. I'm actually kinda keen to go again and see everything in depth.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today i was grateful for the day off. i didnt do anything really productive, in fact i didnt do much at all and I'm grateful for that. it may not exavtly have been what i wanted, but i also was unsure of what that is. and I'm happy i dont have to always have it figured out for things to be okay.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}I'm grateful for Wibbles, Andos and Davin coming over and hanging out to play music. i know i didnt want to hang with wibbs but I'm really enjoying all of us being together. it's fun.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}I'm grateful for the random stranger who stopped me to talj about my phone rice. it was so awesome to nerd out like that! :)

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today I'm grateful for Roger's kindness with regards to my lack of updates on my research project. He absolutely couldve destroyed me for being shit at communicating, but he was kind and it made a difference

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm grateful for hanging out with Bryte and talking to Tanu in the morning, it made me feel really connected. I'm glad i have people who like to hang out and talk to me and that makes me happy

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today an old lady stopped me on the way to work to ask if I knew where the post office was. I said sure of course and walked her to it. It felt really nice to have someone ask for help and then be able to help them. I'm grateful for that.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm grateful for being tfol, and being appreciated in slack. I'm actually too powerful there now, I've single handedly been bringing general to a halt. It makes me laugh a lot and today Jack and Caelan appreciated my LARPing. It's really fun. I may have to give it up soon though. It's too powerful. Nihlisim.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}I'm so grateful it's Friday. like holy shit, it's fucking Friday.
I'm also really grateful that Wibbles came over and we jammed out. he taught me a lot about music theory and I had a great time just jamming out with him. I was kinda nervous about him coming over since I hadn't been practicing at all, but I had a fun time regardless.
Finally I'm also really grateful that Stu at the Mandalay bus remembered my name and was really nice and friendly to me and even gave me 5 bucks in change when he only owed me 2 dollars. I gave him a dollar back. But it really made my day. He was really sweet.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}hmm, today has been a rough day. I didnt get most the work i should've done, done. I didn't get to do most the fun stuff i wanted to do. i feel ill and my stomach is not happy. I didn't go to the gym. and the weekend is over. ugh, that sucks.
on the other hand me and parul have been cybresexing for the past two days. god she drives me crazy. even just writing this in getting a hard on. it turns me on soo much when she tells me she wants to fuck me. she even sent me a lewd picture of her in just underwear and that was hot as fuck too. however i dont know how it'll go on. the distance truly sucks and it hurts so much more if we keep flirting and mutual masturbating with each other. idk, i guess we'll figure it out.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}TGIF! I'm so grateful it's Friday. I'm also really grateful uni is starting next week so I don't have to go to work 5 days a week. It's really killing my soul.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today has been a pretty good day overall. in the morning I didn't really know if I should go to Bsides, but i did end up going. and at first I felt lonely and out of place (perhaps in part because I was speaking to yayu and tanu who were visiting each other and having a ball), but I'm glad I went in the end. I got to see some cool talks, and build the badge which was pretty fun. then I did some lock picking which was awesome to finally try out! When I got on the bus home it was raining a lot and then it got really cold. After I came home I played minecraft with the boys. That was fun but we kept restarting because we did dumb meme-y shit. eventually we finally settled on a world, and we had been playing for a good hour just building stuff, during which we realised it wasn't hardcore. and then after a while longer russy pointed out it wasn't on hard either and we all collectively lost our shit and rage quit for jxN wasting our time.
After that me, jxN, russy and callum played Splendour and we had the most fucked game ever. Russy got to 10 points pretty quickly and had a 5 point card reserved for which he only needed 1 blue gem to buy. The rest of us all teamed up against him to hoard all the remaining blues and golds so that he couldn't get one. We cucked him soo hard. Eventually he decided to top deck a card and got a cheap blue he could purchase, and at that point we knew there was no point in cucking him. However since he had his turn after me I had to keep cucking him for the golds. This led to me not only catching up in points, but also being able to sneak out the victory the turn before russy got his by buying a 5 point card from the board with 4 golds. It was so crazy. I'm really glad i got to be there and also be the winner.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm really grateful for Tanu. After we spoke on Saturday she's been a lot more receptive and kind in trying to help me stop being depressed and just generally terrible. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to try and get rid of her. I'd be in a much, much darker place if she wasn't around.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}This should've been added yesterday, but oh well.
Yesterday Andos and Wibbles came over and we practiced Blue Letter by Fleetwood Mac a ton. It was actually quite a lot of fun and I'm grateful I didn't bail out of it despite having tremendous amounts of work to do.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date} I'm really grateful that I have friends that push me to be a better person. It really makes such a difference when there is a group you can be held accountable to and the expectation of success. Striving for greatness amongst a cohort of others looking to do the same is a very powerful motivator. it's something I didn't really understand until recently.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today was a nice day. In the morning Yayu and Tanu called me and we chatted for a bit. Apparently they spoke about my dick, which I thought was kinda funny. I kinda wish I was able to make a joke about it, but I was kinad caught off gaurd by it. I guess I should've expected that tbh, and I kinda wonder how it came up. Yayu's always pulling my leg about that time we kissed, and how I don't remember it (though I kinda do now? It's a bit odd I guess, perhaps I was lying when I told her that), and she's really flirty as always. I don't know how I feel about it. I wouldn't say I wish she wasn't but it doesn't help that she's dating Troy (not that that really matters since we couldn't be together anyway, and I'm not even sure I'd want that; ugh, lonliness is a terrible curse) and I guess I'm just going to be nonchalant about it. I don't think I really have any other choice. I do enjoy being friends with her.
After that Jeremy picked me up and we went to the vape store to buy him some batteries and I picked up a charger and case for myself. We got GYG because they had $5 beers and burritos. Today was also the first day I tried L-Theanine. I'd say it made a mild difference to my focus, but I did get really tired towards the end of the day. We picked up Clare and met Aaron at the Cartier exhibition. That was pretty interesting. I had a nice time there. There's something I want to say but I won't write down for fear of it coming true, even though nothing really happened and it was just a vibe. Anyways, after that we went to a building by some architect, I can't remember who, that was really cool. It was like a hollow mound with lots of water around and in there, there was a huge conical place to sit. If you stood in the middle your voice would echo a ton, and it's almost as though you could hear yourself from behind. If you weren't in the middle it echo'd everywhere and was very discordant. It was really cool.
After that me and Aaron left and got food at Match and spoke about jobs and things as we tend to do. Then qf scored $2k worth of Uber eats coupons and Russy bought me dinner! I'm so grateful to have generous friends that care about me. It's really sweet.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm grateful for Tanu in particular. It was just a realization I had about how much she means to me and how much I'd miss her if she was gone. I'm really glad she didn't give up on me and decided to work through me being a total asshole. I'm really grateful for her being in my life.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm grateful for the good days I have. When the weather is comforting and I have enough spoons and am in a good mood and get to see my friends and also get some work done and also east some nice food. They may nit be as frequent as I would like, but I'm grateful they exist and observing them is important. Today was a good day, and in glad for it.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm grateful for the birth lottery I won. Seeing all these people on fedi that are struggling financially and don't really have any way out despite being incredibly talented I'm really grateful for not having to worry about it and having a family that is not only capable of making sure I'm comfortable but also get to enjoy exesses not available to most people. I don't have to worry about so much struggle because I was really lucky with the situation I was born into. Even though I had nothing to do with it, the privilege I was born into is something I really am grateful for.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm grateful for the 12ish hours of sleep I got. Having fallen behind on my sleep schedule during last week because of assignments and stuff I'm grateful I got to catch up on it today, even if it comes with the slight trade off of not getting to talk to Pearl

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm grateful for getting time off. Even though there was a couple things I had to do today, for the most part I got to do fuck all, and I'm really grateful for that, it's amazing to be able to do that even just some of the time, if it's on a weekday.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm grateful for my Artifex friends I'm glad i got to hang out with them in a chill environment and still feel comfortable hanging out there because in most group situations i tend to close up and feel uncomfortable so I'm grateful to have a place where i can feel like myself

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Tosay I'm really grateful and my friends in Queensland and Smansion in particular since i no longer live in a share house getting to be in that environment again makes me a little nostalgic for the time i was. I'm also really grateful for my friends there and getting away for a while and having somewhere to go and people to hang out with you like me. Even though we mostly just sat around a lot it was pleasant

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}been quite a slow day, woke up at nearly 1pm, made some breakfast (eggs and sausages) then mostly just sat around until jj woke up. then i went to his place to pick up the grilse and get cucked by him for Dark Souls. That was p fun. I'm really grateful he remembered me when Clare was picking up and asked if I needed any. That was really sweet.
Lately I've also been feeling a bit weird in my tummy, I think it's acid reflux. I think it's because I haven't been eating as much lately and I also probs haven't been eating healthily. I also have been missing most my dailies since getting back from QLD but I'm slowly beginning to get back into the routine. Today I also made my first pull request! I added Canberra to Transportr. It migh turn out to be a useless PR because the Australia provider already existed, but it was fun to start working on that. I also finally got around to git pulling pleroma after ages of having wanted to do that. So overall not a bad day. I did a bunch of chores yesterday and today so that makes me feel good. I still have tons of laundry left though.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}I'm grateful for being able to sleep in today a bit. Even a little bit helps especially since I didn't sleep so well last night

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}This is about yesterday but the most amazing thing happened. I was getting on the bus to go to Bunnings in Belco and my MyWay card didn't have any balance and so the bus driver decided to throw me out instead when an older lady named Margaret called out "Do you need some money?" and I was like sure. So after about 5 minutes of trying to get her shit together to buy me a ticket (and some clearly annoyed customers) she bought me a ticket. It was such a lovely gesture, and though I originally went to sit in the back, but I decided to move and sit next to her and we had a nice conversation before I got off.
I'm really grateful for the kindness of strangers especially when just a little bit can go a long way at the right time. It was such a nice experience.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}It's crazy the effect exercise has on me. I'd been feeling poopy (kinda interesting how that's related to my dreams too, maybe?) for a while and after working out with Aaron I felt much better and now I feel pretty good to be honest. I'd noticed a few days earlier that I hadn't been in a long time (a week) despite meaning too. I was worried i wouldn't get to today as well, but I did and I so glad
I'm so grateful for endorphins. Just working out has improved my mood significantly.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I was grateful to have my laptop at work and not have to use the work computer for messing around with. It's a small thing, and I don't even like my laptop that much (awww, I'm sorry, that's not true, I do like my laptop which is why I use it) but it's something I am grateful for.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}The possibility of hope. Believing in a positive next few days is something I'm so greatful for.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}On the bus to Sydney right now to neet Abhi and Im sitting next to Christina and we got to talking a bit. She's lived in so many different places and is studying to be in the army and manage a task force. Her perspective is so different from mine and in a way she's the total opposite of me. in the way she's all about action and not so much about thinking. She went to Tanzania to help school children as part of her medic course I love meeting people with a different perspective than mine, i feel like i could learn a lot from meeting new people and im grateful to have the opportunity to do that.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}I'm not sure if i should write much right now, im very tired and still in a bit of a mood, but something quite cool happened. for the first time i was able to quell my growing "darkness" through the experimentation part of my identity. that i shouldn't be afraid to try new things and be open to situations. it held me down and kept me safe and the darkness, though not banished totally, was thoroughly pierced. i want to write more of those.
Im grateful for the pieces of myself I'm nailing to my future.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}I'm sitting in Haig park as the sun goes down because the weather remindede me of bangalore and i didnt want to be inside anymore. its beautiful outside and i want to sit and enjoy it, so ive taken my ▐▜▞▟▛▒▟▓▐▟ out. i can hear the birds chirping and cars in the distance. the wind is also picking up a little and the trees are restling. the air has a wet rain smell and above is a mixture of dar clouds and blue sky, tinted yellow towards where the sun is. i can feel small drops of rain beginning to fall on my fingers and see them on my screen. im not sure how much longer ill be able to sit out here but i really am glad i came.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}i just finished adventure time and im listening to one of the songs near the end of the show ("I wanna slow dance with you") and im feeling all kinds of ways that i dont know how to describe. just before writing this i was crying like a little baby oh my god that shows got me. its by far my favorite show ever now that ive finished it omg. i feel like it healed part of my soul thats been broken. idk how long itll stay fixed for but im so grateful that i finished it. i loved it. i absolutely loved it. lowkey i wish i got to watch it with tanu, but maybe its for the best that i didnt get to. i think part of me needed to watch it alone, but the whole time i wish i had some to hold, or to comfort me or at the very least hold hands with. it was too emotional and i was wrapped around myself. i actually cant put into words the way i feel right now. my entire adventure with adventure time, from its beginning to now has been such a wild ride. i feel nostalgic a lot, but also filled with hope once again, that beautiful curse. reassured in myself and my past and looking forward. moved to my very core. i thought id lost that.
everything happen happening happened.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date} I'm in a really good mood rn. LOL the rain just stopped as soon as i started typing
but anyway, i enjoyed the rain and not thinking about everything else. and just having a nice time watching and listening to the rain. it was most excellent

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%title {title}:J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}I've been thinking about strategy a lot lately. in many different contexts, work and uni and friends. about how orchestrating my life is more than just about the things i do. it's about the people i communicate with and how i do that. this is where a moral framework would be helpful, because it's easy to get caught up in solely the pursuit of ideal strategy and forget about it's purpose. im worried about that. something else thats been on my mind is that maybe im the villian. i just dont recognize it yet. young priviledged kid tryna live my life, but constantly confused and aimless.
uff that's too dark and i dont really believe that. i'm glad i can deal with negative thoughts, im a lot stronger now too. i think thats why ive been thinking about strategy, and how being agreeable all the time isn't the best strategy. it's easy and pretty effective, but not conducive to certain sorts of fields of endeavour.
i've been going to the gym on night shift a bunch and i love it, it feels so good to be at the gym at night. we havn't been going super hard like me and aaron do, but it's a fun sesh. makes me appreciate aaron more, im gonna ask him to gym i just did :relieved:
man i really want to be able to insert emojo on my laptop. it's such a core part of expressing myself.

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}ive had a lot of positive affirmations these past few days. between manya just fan girling me yesterday, nupur saying i look like hrithik roshan, and nirvan saying im the best ABD, its been really nice hearing such sweet things from my friends, it must mean im doing something right. i want to pay more attention and focus on them. remember them so im not always a sadboi.
im just doing me the only way i know how, so its good to know im doing good :)

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%title {title}:T:r:a:v:e:l: :D:r:e:a:m: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Feeling some sort of way after my dream last night and being in NZ and far away. Almost constrained in dome sense. In my dream I was back at school for some reason as though I hadn't graduated. There I met Jay who kept talking about Parul and that made me feel weird. As though there was something I was missing, and I woke up feeling that way too. Like there was something wrong and that I'd always be just off for people, for the people I'm closest to. It reminded me of the time I tried to burn those bridges but they wouldn't let me. I can't tell if I feel alone or excited, or just done.
I think I'll send them a message
Also the lines from Ultra Light Beam are stuck in my head
"I will field your questions,
I will shield your pain"

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Watched the solution to dissatisfaction today and decided to continue gratitude journalling.
Today I am grateful for:
* The time I got to spend alone
* Having the energy to clean the house
* Stretching my coding muscles
* A good workout
* Chicken 65 Biryani from Dosa Hut

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}I'm grateful for good books to distract me when I'm feeling down

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today im grateful for ❤️
* the rain
* coffee, both hot and cold
* meeting a new smasher
* talking to new friends (😉)

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today im grateful for:
* finding my watch!
* night pool seshes
* fried chicken at 3am
* ice cream at 5am
* Aircon

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today i am grateful for:
* laughing to the point of tears and pain watching jeremy play an awful video game
* saying goodbye to friends that i had a good time with
* kanga pops

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I am grateful for:
* laughing a lot with my friends at Documental
* beating someone (Haikal) who used to be better at me than melee
* playful beef with Gerd
* climbing
* reconnecting with old friends in a way i havent in a longlong time

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today i am grateful for:
* bagels
* good new music to listen to and discover
* chocolate

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I'm grateful for:
* vaping
* coffee
* my morning routine
* finding the answers to a take home job test I had which were published by the founder of the company

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today im grateful for:
* exercise
* a goodnights rest
* being able to support through donation, free websites i enjoy (mynoise)
* free uber eats delivery

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today i am grateful for:
* a difficult job app that humbled me in my experience
* time alone
* hot and then cold showers to feel rejuvenated
* getting coils for my vape

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today im grateful for:
* the chance to write a letter to a stranger
* finishing things i was procrastinating on
* getting TaskWhisperer working

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today im grateful forr:
* virtual date with a cute girl
* working out
* not being hungover
* reminiscing with Nanak

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I am grateful for:
* Meeting Ri and getting along with her so well
* having to ask difficult questions of myself (about be a fucc/soft boi) but putting in the work
* feeling better today, even if it wasnt particularly productive
* doing laundry even though it sucks

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today im grateful for:
* riya coming over even though i was sad and then having her boost my mood so much
* tanushree for listening to my bullshit sadness
* having the strength to not be super hard on myself when i got rejected from job apps that i thought went well
* keeping on in the face of difficulty

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today I am grateful for:
* being in brisbane
* waking up to the incredible view i get
* the intense double shot of espresso i made with jxN's coffee setup
* having james and chtl over just to chat a lil

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}Today I am grateful for:
* The city lights at night
* Having all my stuff arrive
* Learning to Django
* Watching Parasite

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today i'm grateful for:
* jack coming over and working out with me
* into the breach being a fun game that i'm enjoying
* tuna melts
* cookies (but also sorta not? they're dangerous)

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today i am grateful for:
* today being the last day of lockdown
* the smell of cake being baked
* yummy coffee
* getting a lot closer to a flat tummy

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l: :R:e:v:i:e:w:%date {date}What went well today:
* Working out (morning and evening)
* Getting chores done
* Waking up refreshed
What did not go well today:
* Not putting in enough effort with Riya to plan things
* Not sending out any job apps
* Not doing any dev work
* No creative output
What can I do to make sure things go better tomorrow:
* Send out job applications right after morning routine
* Plan something with Riya
* Try and wake up earlier
* Take some time to do creative things, even if small and they go unrecorded (drawing, writing)
Today I am grateful for:
* Going to the Botanical Gardens markets and getting a cute plant friend
* The lady at Big W's big smile when I asked her how she's going in response to her asking me
* Having plants in my room
* Having the money to buy things that I want
* Getting to shock my family with my hair
* Nani saying my hair doesn't look terrible
* Cooking a perfect medium boiled egg on my first try

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :R:e:v:i:e:w: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Morning routine
* Working out in the botanical gardens
* Sending out job apps
* Making music
* Hitting a lot of habits
* Purple shampoo in my hair for 45 mins
* Watching Haunting of Hill House with Riya
What did not go well today:
* Focused dev work on meaningful outcomes
* Ate the same thing for both meals (Left over chicken curry)
* Not budgeting effectively
* Not thinking about blog or Kitaab
* Not setting a 1thingaday
* Lower back pain
* Not contacting centrelink
* Little attention given to task list
What can I do tomorrow to improve:
* Space out purchases
* Combine 1thingaday with task list
* Decompress back in the morning
* After doing some leetcode, try and do other dev work
* Read SICP for better leetcoding
* Set aside time for writing
Today I am grateful for:
* Botanical gardens
* My blonde hair
* Chtl for helping me get my hair blonde
* Wax melters
* Continuing to get a flatter stomach
* Headphones grabbing new music for me

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Outdoor climbing
* Talking with Riya
* Sending out job apps (even when I didn't want to)
* Hanging out with Haikal
* Learning Hindi
* Focused dev work (only a little though)
* Waking up early
* Quick satsang with Mum
* Getting a phone interview
* Better at managing back pain
What did not go well today:
* No practice leetcode
* Not thinking about blog
* Didn't call centrelink (or do tasks)
* No creative output
What can I do tomorrow to improve:
* SICP to compliment leetcode
* Find a way to configure tidalcycles on box [maybe a different editor] (or do other smaller creative things)
* Re-read blog and upcoming blog posts (even before configuring neuron)
Today I am grateful for:
* Climbing White rock
* Getting to meet Farhan and Hamish(?)
* Getting along decently with Mikey in person even though we don't get along online
* Being able to laugh at myself and my not great blonde hair
* Water fountain in my room

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Doing my kombucha
* Cleaning my shoes
* Getting back into some habits
* Getting up early
* Working out
* Talking with Riya
* Talking with my family
What did not go well today:
* Still sort of feeling like I need to get away and take breaks from Riya
* Didnt do laundry
* Still not finding time to write or blog
* No creative output
* Haven't found motivation to keep applying for jobs
* Task list languishing
What can I do to improve tomorrow:
* Send at least 1 job app
* Read my blog
* Stay commited to working on my relationship with Riya
* Fill in time spent with Riya by also making music/writing{?)
Today I am grateful for:
* Playing melee with Rob
* My hair going nearly white
* My friends and the party we had yesterday
* Not being hungover
* Starting work tomorrow
* Essential oil smells
* My family
* Vape coils

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Work!
* Melee tournament
* Sending an email response to a job application
* Coming in 3rd on the league for Duolingo today
* Work out
What did not go well today:
* Too many snacks
* Chores languishing
* Not reading blog (not really upset about this one given job)
* Second brain building for job (maybe, hard to say, only wrote down notes at the end of the day)
What can I do tomorrow to improve:
* meditate before review
* buy less snacks
* Do a single chore
* Write down things from work as I do them
* Take some of the jobs Jeremy listed and apply to them
Today I am grateful for:
* My morning routine
* Having a job, that I seem to like
* Having apparently good coworkers
* Being remote
* Playing a tournament of Melee and coming 4th
* My morning routine
* Difficult problems that give me satisfaction

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Working
* Habits
* Read my blog! (but couldn't update it due to some problem with gitea?)
* Did some tasks!
* Didn't snack!
* Writing a letter to Riri
* Note taking during work
* devops work outside of work
* Playing a lil melee with gareth
* meditiation before review
* Tired at the end of the day
What did not go well today:
* Was hungry a lot, but still didn't eat too much
* didn't apply for any jobs, losing motivation
* Freaking out because I kept typing in the wrong password on bowl
* Budgeting/Finance/Investments
* Lots of chores
* Didn't leave the house
* Didn't do anything creative
* Pulling away from Riya still
* Didn't ask for more money from work
What can I do better tomorrow to improve:
* Work on better building a 2nd brain?
* Just pull the trigger on investments
* Don't get complacent, keep striving for a better job
* Work from the library?
* Talk to Riya about how you feel
* Face the challenge of asking for more money from work!
Today I am grateful for:
* Riya's snores
* Jack coming over and working out with me
* Autonomy in my work
* The energy to keep doing computer shit after work
* Still having my infrastructure running (since I thought I lost it)

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Got heaps of chores down
* Kept trying at work despite feeling like I was banging my head against the wall
* Bought a tent for camping
* Kombucha taste
* Work out
* Habits
* My room is beautiful now (put up the vines all across)
What did not go well today:
* Banging my head against the wall at work
* Didn't get enough sleep
* No energy to do computer stuff after work
* Got talked out of dying my hair(might be a good thing?)
* Haven't prepared for camping packing
* bought lots of snacks
What can I do better tomorrow to improve:
* Take a breather and recenter when you're not making progress during work
* Pace yourself with the snacks, drink kombucha now instead
* Go to bed earlier!

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :R:e:v:i:e:w: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Finishing my task at work
* Buying and cooking a big bucket of fried rice
* Work out into swim even though it was cold
What did not go well today:
* Time management on work task
* Habits
* Useless breaks during work
* Didn't get to the job application test
* Cleaning up the kitchen after cooking
What can I do to improve tomorrow:
* When taking a break dont be mindless, collect myself, relax,
* Don't take too many breaks, try to follow pomodoro
* Pick utensils wisely instead of the first one that comes into my hand when cooking
Today I am grateful for:
* Getting the task at work done
* Recieving good feedback
* Swimming
* Coffee

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today i spent the large portion of the day climbing and it was really fun. I went camping with Russy, Alexa, Haikal, Azri, Fahran, Sam and Adrienne to Brooyar. Its my first time camping and I really enjoyed it. The stars are so pretty, getting away from technology and the internet has been really good, and i do feel more alive. Climbing has been really fun and I got all the climbs I attempted. I'm really grateful to have met such awesome people, go camping and climbing with them. I do enjoy their company a lot :)

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Climbing!
* Doing some work once I got home
* Staying away from my phone (even though it was hard)
* Having fun with new friends
* Waking up at a reasonable time at camp
What did not go well today:
* Being really cold last night (better than the night before)
* Feeling unprepared for camping
* Over packing things that I didn't end up using (Laptop! Onyx! Too many clothes!)
* Too much food that I didn't end up eating
* Way too much snacking on things that weren't helpful (Popcorn)
* Having to do sooo much laundry
* Room is a bit of a mess
What can I do better tomorrow to improve:
* Create a list of things that are reasonable to take for camping/climbing trips
* Buy healthier snacks?
* Get better insulated stuff for camping
* Do some chores tomorrow
Today I am grateful for:
* Climbing
* Camping
* The way Russy calls Alexa "baby"
* A quiet ride home listening to a podcast
* Talking to Riya and my family
* A warm bed to sleep in
* Warmth
* Everything being brief
* Feeling rejuvenated from camping + climbing
* A hot shower and feeling clean

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :R:e:v:i:e:w: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Chores
* Dominating Debs roommate when she came to pack up her stuff
* Finishing all my fried rice
What did not go well today:
* Work
* Free time utilization
* Creative energies
* Fighting with Riya
What can I do tomorrow to improve:
* Commit to pomodoro
* Work in a seperate space to fun spaces (ie The Edge)
* Try not to be so sensitive about passing comments
* If you do feel sensitive, say so instead of becoming condescending
* Spend more time in places that foster my creativity (online and in person)
Today I am grateful for:
* Playing with Tofu (Deb's dog)
* Hanging out with my friends
* Lots of free time
* My hair being less purple and more gray
* Morning work out
* Catching up on other slacks

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :R:e:v:i:e:w: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Cooking
* Getting KVM to run the Windows box
What did not go well today:
* Doing work
* Low energy after hanging out all day
* Work out
* Creative
What can I do better tomorrow to improve:
* Find a better way to coexist
Today I am grateful for:
* Seeing Riya
* Being in Canberra again
* Talking to Mami and Nikhil

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :R:e:v:i:e:w: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* work (suprisingly enough)
* visiting HSBNE
* reading during the day
* talking with riya
* Morning climbing
* Doing laundry
What did not go well today:
* Not asking Riya to take a break
* Talking with my friends
* Doing home projects
* Accumulating too much internet things to look at
* Finding out my laptop is getting p scuffed
* other non-laundry life admin things
What can I do better tomorrow:
* Do a task
* Be creative?
* Start work earlier! Don't be lazy! Don't get distracted!
* Stop browsing the internet so much and consume the content instead
* Wach a hope talk instead of the office at lunch
Today I am grateful for:
* (HOPEFULLY) getting my phone tomorrow
* not fighting with riya
* the office
* Seeing someone blacksmith irl
* Ona Raspberry Cream coffee beans

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :R:e:v:i:e:w: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Hanging out with my friends
* Being fairly focused at work
* Climbing in the morning
* OSMAnd Navigation
* Self reflection (Co star and seventh sphere)
What did not go well today:
* finances
* taking a shower
* Personal projects
What can I do tomorrow to improve:
* spend some time on actually building personal projects, or just configuring dev envs for other projects
Today i am grateful for:
* Ferrys as a method of transport
* Talking with woodley about AI
* Meeting Roxanne (Mikes gf)

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}things that went well today:
* folding my clothes
* taking a shower
* time alone
* learning a little more nixOS
things that did not go well today:
* exercise
* trying to wake up early
* dedication to things i want to do
* wasting food
things i can do to improve tomorrow:
* go to bed earlier
* be accountable for early waking
* better seperation of work and play
today i am grateful for:
* talking with mum and pa
* the way my body looks and the improvements ive made
* the stillness of solitude
* meditation
* doing all my laundry
* my new room layout

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%title {title}:[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}today i am grateful for:
* getting to talk to riya
* melee
* making buchi
* buying a diffuser
* my room
* plants
* keeping a budget

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}what went well today:
* working out
* feeling well rested
* focusing & getting my work done
* better note taking for work stuff
* being mindful of slack usage
* using,monochromatic mode during work hours
what did not go well today:
* stressing about work
* missing my morning meeting again
* getting lost and being super late to my hair appointment
* working late
* neck pain
what can i do tomorrow to improve:
* work smarter not harder
* prepare to be stressed at work sometimes
* look up directions more often
* leave earlier
today i am grateful for:
* memes and funny videos
* being compotent enough to get my work done
* hot showers
* sleeping long hours
* bei

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}what went well today:
* learning vim-fugitive
* getting inducted into hsbne
* doing some exercise
* generally not too tired
what did not go well today:
* still havent talked to riya about breaking up
* still working on td-reporting
* waking up
what can i do tomorrow to improve:
*...
today i am grateful for:
* continuing to learn thinga about my craft
* having energy to do things outside of work
* wallabag pushing annotation support to android

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}what went well today:
* climbing
* morning routine
* trying out new art and creative stuff
* learning new vim tricks
what did not go well today:
* not starting work until after lunch
* scrolling too much during work hours
what can i do tomorrow to improve:
* if scrolling for learning, dive in instead of just scrolling
* give a set amount of time or a set task to learning/scrolling and then work
* turn screen grayscale when working, even if learning
today i am grateful for:
* finishing idiot wind!
* having built nix packages and submitting a PR
* fzf and a better way to navigate the command line
* having time to spend learning my craft
* having money to buy games (void bastards)

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}what went well today:
* when i sat down to work -> getting it done
* getting inked
* cleaning up browser tabs on curve
what did not go well today:
* getting enough sleep
* working during the day
* being annoyed and complaining a lot
* wanting to smoke a joint
* endless feed scrolling
what can i do tomorrow to improve:
* if i cant sleep just get out of bed for a little while
* if you're not able to focus on work, take a long break, but do something specific so you can delineate work from non-work easier
* start doing daily 'plans for the morn' (now would be a good time to start, but it's late and im tired)
today i am grateful for:
* getting inked
* having the disposable income to spend on things i want (inked, climbing shoes, etc)
* bumping into chtl in the city
* having friends to share my happiness with
* trying my best to hit all my goals

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%title {title}:R:e:v:i:e:w: :[:[:G:r:a:t:i:t:u:d:e: :]:]: :J:o:u:r:n:a:l:%date {date}What went well today:
* Getting enough rest
* Taking care of my plants
* Bicycling for 30 mins in the gym
What did not go well today:
* Getting rekt at work for not doing the things I should've
* Suraj micromanaging me
What can I do tomorrow to improve:
* Take charge and actually do the work I'm supposed to
* Ask questions during work hours when I get stuck
* Ask for feedback at work so I know what to change/improve upon
Today I am grateful for:
* Taking a nap during work hours

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%title De-facto proprietary software
:blog:future-of-foss:quotes:
%date 2020-09-26 22:45
You want to download thousands of lines of useful, but random, code from the internet, for free, run it in a production web server, or worse, your users machine, trust it with your paying users data and reap that sweet dough. We all do. But then you cant be bothered to check the license, understand the software you are running and still want to blame the people who make your business a possibility when mistakes happen, while giving them nothing for it? This is both incompetence and entitlement.
https://13brane.net/rants/de-facto-closed-source/

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%title sealight services intro
:sealight.services:writing:
%date 2020-09-27 00:10
sealight.services is the cove you wash up on after having drifted too far out from comfortable waters. As you look around you notice some of the rock is smooth, especially where the light from the gap in the roof shines through. You see scorched driftwood and a couple large stones laid out with intention. You feel the warmth on your skin.
Do you remember how you got here now?
Do you remember where you were going to go?

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%title Just so
:writing:maze:
the stack of papers may seem like chaos, but LRU it's the most efficient solution organized solution you can make

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%title Structure of Sorcery
:blog:maze:writing:
%date 2020-09-27 01:11
Magic, as we seem to understand it, is the ability to affect change in ways we didn't think possible.
Once you understand how the mechanism, by definition it is no longer magic.
In order to manifest impossible realities first we must be able to imagine them, hence belief is our primary tool. Those who search for these techniques are wixen. Our abilities tend to be localized and syncronicity the multiplier. Each may have their own rituals, but cooperation is our strength.
Enacting change is the purpose of all effort. Our tools must be as varied as the uses for energy, then. Change may be the only constant, but our mortality prohibits us from simply waiting for what we wish to happen.

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%title Shaarli integration
:Kitaab:dev:
%date 2020-09-27 01:49
A shaarli integration for Kitaab.
Start with a CLI client
https://github.com/shaarli/python-shaarli-client is a start
Find a way to wrap them in vim commands
Insert them by tag/search/etc

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%title Critical Engineering Manifesto
:webquote:dev:manifesto:
%date 2020-09-27 16:27
6. The Critical Engineer expands "machine" to describe interrelationships encompassing devices, bodies, agents, forces and networks.
https://criticalengineering.org/

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%title Cosmo
:webquote:
%date 2020-09-27 16:51
And you may ask yourself
Well... How did I get here?
And you may ask yourself
"How do I work this?"
And you may ask yourself
"Where is that large automobile?"
And you may tell yourself
"This is not my beautiful house!"
Attention Conservation Notice: What follows is long, self-absorbed, and boring to look at; much of it was written ten or even twenty years ago.
http://bactra.org/

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%title Getting Grasp to work with Kitaab
:dev:meta:
%date 2020-09-27 17:30
I need to find a command I can run that will start Vimwiki from command line. (Probably through .vimrc -> nvim.nix)
Then I need to make a pull request to grasp to run subprocess.call('vim ')
Paste the contents into the open file? Show the interactive session?

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%title Standing on the Shoulders of Understandable Giants
:writing:blog:
%date 2020-09-27 19:36
Many people admire modern software. The ease with which we can do incredible tasks is truly powerful; navigation, translation, taxes. Consumer technology has changed the way people operate. But it is a brittle tool. Trying to do anything outside of the scope of what was designed it falls apart. We cannot inspect it's workings, or configure personalizations to our own benefit. We do not get to build on top of the giants, simply pass through them in a very specific way.
There are those who refuse these terms entirely and opt to build their own tools. These craftspeople will forge the tools that fit their needs best. Building foundations at bedrock allows for the most control. Make the tools exactly as you need them. These people garner a deep respect from me.
I land somewhere in the middle.
A big development in my understanding of the craft was from the realization that I can just inspect open source code. After all that is the point. For a long time I was scared to peek behind the curtain, afraid that the runes would be illegible. But that was a silly fear. A big part of how I learn now is just looking at how other people solved a problem. Afterall the patterns are adaptable.
Being able to inspect and understand code doesn't have the same benefits as having built them entirely yourself. In exchange you are granted height, and as much control as you can muster. Can you master somebody else's spell enough to make it your own? I know the limits of my own power and so limiting the complexity is desirable.
No single person can understand the entirety of their toolchain. We must depend on each other in order to wield our artifacts at all. There's always another layer below 'bedrock'. The operating system underlies application space. The instruction set underlies the OS and BIOS. The silicon underlies the BIOS. The silicon must be extracted which requires additional industrial scale tools to shape and form.
Will you chisel away at the void, to craft the perfect tool? Or will bow to cosmic powers of the corpers you summon, happy enough be granted outcomes of incantions.
I will choose to stand of the shoulders of the giants I can understand. Those that I can also control.

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%title What is a type? | Lambda the Ultimate
:webquote: http://lambda-the-ultimate.org/node/5604
%date 2020-09-27 Sun 21:49]
Selection:
I'll repeat this here, since it seems quite relevant.

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%title What is a type? | Lambda the Ultimate
:webquote: http://lambda-the-ultimate.org/node/5604
%date [2020-09-27 Sun 21:56]
> Types are mostly used in three ways:

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%title grasp changes
:dev:meta:kitaab:
%date 2020-09-27 22:44
Add multi-line patch from issue https://github.com/karlicoss/grasp/issues/22
Get server to run vim -c VimwikiRegenerateTags +c ZettelGenerateTags webquote ~/vimwiki/webquotes.wiki

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%title Kitaab on line
:dev:line:meta:
%date 2020-09-28 00:48
Problem: nix-on-droid doesn't allow you to browse the rest of the system -- see https://github.com/t184256/nix-on-droid/issues/78
Fix: have a git repo I can pull to do initial config
Problem: Can't build vim-zettel, taskwiki, etc... because no nixpkgs
Fix: clone my fork TODO
Problem: nvim.nix still doesn't install node.js necessary for coc
Fix: include nodejs in nvim.nix? TODO

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%title Work Laptop Setup
:work:
%date 2020-09-28 00:54
Installing Ubuntu in a virtualbox is a nightmare
- VirtualBox is very slow to install
- HyperV has shit resolution and is very laggy
- WSL requires a microsoft account -> need password-store

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